the bleak, bitter world

Outside, the bleakness awaits. The caustic air. The barren trees. These white flakes escape from the heavens. I’m suffocating.

Within me, the bleakness continues. God, why must I find the sun, only to find white mass piled high on the frozen earth? Why does the world abandon your Child?

I am the fruitful tree standing amidst all of those barren. I patiently wait, praying, hoping. I sense the pain, the hopelessness, the fear, the need for reconciliation. But I cannot maintain. I cannot stand against this bitter cold when I cannot find the sun. I’m losing all power to survive. Save me O Father. Hear my cries and send me the sun. Find me; I need You.

A New Heart

In honor of a great man, a great Christian, a great husband, a great father, and a great grandfather.



Fred Richard Weimer--husband to one, father to seven, grandpa to many. On Friday, December 26, 2006, at the age of 67, Fred finally received his new heart after a long, hard journey.

His forehead caressed with love and kisses, he entered into what would be his final fight. After fighting long and hard, Fred released himself into the loving arms of Jesus Christ and received his new life and liberty in heaven, breaking free from the shackles of his mortal flesh. He was not defeated but found greater life and victory in his death.

Fred -- "One of Peace." A man of peace he most certainly was. He had the Peace of the Father, evidenced by strength, passion, and a willingness to fight against all odds. His steadfast peace in trials and tribulations was witnessed by many and spoke of his deep relationship with Jesus Christ.

Passion, intensity, inspiration, love, heart -- Webster fails to offer adequate words to express all that he was. A day never passed without his strong smile and twinkling eyes full of vivacious life. His passions for life ad for Christ were clearly evident to all those around him. Everywhere he went, the passion within him ignited an irrepressible fire in the hearts of others.

This passion is what we remember and what we know will continue to live on through these days of mourning. As we look to one another with teary eyes, searching for hugs and peace, in our hearts we know he is in no pain. In our hearts, we know he is dancing the streets of heaven, praising his Lord, Savior, and Healer. In our hearts, we know we will share in his joy and in his presence soon.

He left us with one another and with his undying love in our hearts--a love that surpasses time, space, eternity, and circumstance. Let his new heart encourage us all to live our lives at 100% -- with passion, intensity, fire, and love. Let us not live with fear but with determination, strength, and perseverance. That's what he was, and that's what he'll be through us.

With Grandpa, it's always about heart.

May 30, 1914 - December 26, 2008

With Me, Mistakes are Made into Mountains

A clean slate, a fresh canvas. The world was at the tip of his brush. He peered at the blank canvas and knew in his heart that God would use this to change lives. One deep sigh later, his paint brushes were diving into the rich acrylic paints. The pure canvas was inundated with life. His excitement spurred him forward. His hands moved with the proficiency and experience of a seamstress, no thought was necessary—this was natural.

In his eager haste, the painter failed to wipe his utensil clean—brown drips of paint splattered against the once beautiful pale blue skies. Out of frustration, the painter tossed his paints aside and walked away. This was my chance! I know you had great plans for this painting, God. I’m just not the one for the job. I can’t believe I messed this up. “My son, you are the one I have chosen. Only you can do this. I am greater than your every mistake. With Me, mistakes are made into mountains.”

The painter picked himself off of the cold floor and walked back over to the canvas. Mistakes are made into mountains. He moved the brush skillfully back and forth. Stepping back, he gazed at his work. The painting had evolved, but this was a stunning success.

The painting is now displayed in the finest of museums, entitled “A Mountain of Mistakes.” The piece is beautifully crafted and has spoken to millions of God’s splendor and majesty. Every day, hundreds of people study the artwork . . . and not one of them notices the mistake.


We are all humans. We are all fallible. That's the bottom line. We make mistakes, and we become frustrated with ourselves at our inability to carry out the task God had given us. But God chose us to do the job, and He will see that it is completed.

I've made so many mistakes that I cannot count them on the hands of twenty people. Yet I can look back at my life, and I see the beautiful mountains God brought to life through them.

God does not require perfection from us. All He asks is that we full-heartedly serve Him. Even when our hearts are in the right place, we will still make mistakes, but God's grace has prepared a mountain.

So the next time you find yourself at the verge of throwing in the brushes, stop, thank God for His mercy and grace, and allow Him to make a beautiful mountain.

With Me, mistakes are made into mountains.

In Every Season--Change

For in every season
A change;
And a change
For every season.

The trees full and colored--
Bare and dark they fall.
The grass with vitality and stature--
Overwhelmed by cold, bow.
A sundry men of red and vigor--
Pale and wary do sleep.
Children of great play spot the fields--
Classroom filled, and field unfilled.

For in every season
A change;
And a change
For every season.

Living within the Parameters

Limits. Boundaries. Do you ever feel constricted by the boundaries that have been placed on your life?

I'm here to tell you that you aren't alone. I've tried too hard. I've tried to live an excellent life. I've tried to meet the standards that were consciously or subconsciously set for me by those who surround me.

The fact is, I refuse to continue living within the parameters that people have set for me. I'm breaking out. Yes, I may fail. I may fall flat on my face. Truth is, if I cannot risk it now, when?

My life's purpose is not to meet your standards. I have nothing to prove to you. You no longer have control over my life with your expectations. You think I will fail? I know. You've thought that all along. Is that why you still stand here? Is it gratifying to you that I fall on my face?

O well. Let it be as it should. I'm refocusing my attention to the ONE who really matters. You may sneer, but that's okay.

Let it be as it should.

Expect Great Things

Each day, we have the opportunity to expect great things from God. When you wake up and confess that the day is going to be awful, it automatically shuts the door for greatness. Achieving greatness is as simple as your frame of mind and confession of the mouth. However, even if you confess that the day will be great, it doesn't mean that nothing will go wrong. Nonetheless, greatness can be birthed despite and through trials, tribulations, and troubles.

Everyday, wake up and say to God:

Today is YOUR day. Use me; mold me. I have favor with You and with all whom I have contact. Today is going to be a great day because I have great expectations.

I know that you will be with me every moment of this day. I know, and am grateful, that you will protect me from the dangers of this world--protecting my physical body, my mind, and my heart. I thank you for your peace which will steady my heart when I feel troubled.

Let my actions and words glorify and edify You; may they be a witness to those who surround me. I open my life and day so that you can freely operate in and through me, so that I, and those I am able to minister to, will experience You in a whole new way and will be changed.

I thank You for who You are and what You do. I thank You for Your faithfulness to me in all things.

Expect great things from God--you'll be surprised at the outcome.

Peace in Tomorrow

Life is full of uncertainties. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Short of divine intervention, you will never know what tomorrow holds.

Anticipation--it's scary; it's powerful. Anxiety. Will it be good? Will it be bad? Do I have the strength, the faith, the trust in God to make it through unscathed? Will the laughs outnumber the tears? Will I grow? Will I make an impact?

Questions. The unknown is full of them. Luckily, God wants you to have the answers to those questions! We have the mind of Christ, which in turn means that we know His innermost thoughts. If we stay connected with God through every passing second, we will have peace knowing that He is in control. Will we know what will happen at every moment? No. But God's peace will keep us waiting with eager anticipation, instead of anxiety.

Through His peace, we will know that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). The fear that lies with the unknown will be subdued with high anticipation of God's greatness.

His Passion

pas . sion [pash-uhn]
-noun

1. a powerful emotion or appetite
2. ardent love
3. a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything

Finding passion. Finding passion takes desire. Passion is an unrelenting drive. You have to want something so bad that it hurts, so bad that you'll stop at nothing to achieve your goal. Your passion is your obsession. All you want to do is eat, sleep, breathe, and live your passion.

We find ourselves being passionate about the everyday things of life--basketball, cooking, eating, knitting, or even croquet. In ten years, who knows if these passions that we hold so dearly will even be present in our lives. In ten, twenty years, we will have new passions and desires.

How is it that we have so much passion for these things that will pass, but we lack true passion for the one thing in our lives that saved us and that will always be there? The challenge is to become a truly passionate Christian. Fill your every waking moment with God. Desire nothing else but to be the best Christian that you can be. Desire everyday to love Him a little bit more, trust Him a little bit more. Dive into Scripture and into communication with God. Quickly you will find that burning, can't sleep or eat, desire that pushes you to be a better Christian.

Push yourself to find His passion.

The Fire

Passion--the key element in achieving greatness.

Passion is the fuel by which dreams are allowed to transpire. Take away passion, and all that is left is a book of unrealistic fairy tales that will never become reality. Passion is never satisfied with second place and is never moved to quit of failure. Passion presses on with no regard of circumstance or situation.

Passion--it's the force that drives you outside at night in the middle of a storm with a kite and a key. Passion--it's the force that differentiates a man standing and a man flying. Passion--it's the force that makes you pick up your battered body and play one more quarter. Passion--it's the force that distinguishes first and second place. Passion--it's the force behind any great man.

Dream all you want. But if you want your fairy tale to be etched on your life pages, you are going to have to be the spark that ignites the fire.

Always and Forever

Always and forever have I been there, will I be here. I was there your first day of junior high. I was there when your first boyfriend dumped you. Through your tears, I was there. I was there when you felt like a failure and had no where else to turn. I was there.

I was there your first day of high school--the nerves and butterflies and euphoria. I was there when your world turned black, when you reached out your trembling hand and with a shining blade, sent streams of rosy juices flowing down your arm. I was there when you conquered the world, and I was there when the world conquered you. I was always there.

And I will continue to be.

I will be there when your world is turned upside down. I will be there your first day of college--anticipation, anxiety, and ecstasy. I will be there when you feel overwhelmed and reach for a bottle to drown your woes. I will be there.

I will be there when he proposes to you, when your Prince Charming sweeps you off of your feet. I will be there when you utter the words "I Do." I will be there when doom sweeps over you, when you stretch your hand out to Me. I will be there when you bring life into the world. And I will be there when you meet me in Heaven, smiling and loving, my good and faithful servant.

Through your ups and downs have I and will I be there. When you've turned from Me, I've patiently waited. When you've stretched your quivering arm out to me, I picked you up and encouraged you. You've made mistakes, and you will continue to make mistakes. But, My love is unconditional. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow--I will always be here for you with My arms stretched as wide as the expanding oceans. Always and forever, My child.

Greatness is a Marathon

Shoot for the moon; at the worst, you'll land in the stars.

You never know how close you are to making history. Look back, see where you've come from. Your struggles, your highs, weaknesses, strengths, how far have you come along? If you've come a long way, grown spiritually, then chances are, the finish line is near. Keep your head up and thank God for everything that brought you to where you are today.

On the other hand, if you've failed to grow, you'll look back and see the starting line a few feet away. Pray. And start running. Run hard after God. Through mountains and valleys, through sunshine and rain, in the tumultuous and overbearing winds, and in the holy and moving presence of our Abba Father.

Do not be defeated by time. Soon or late, all will pass. The finish line is your victory. Accept nothing less. Go ahead, achieve greatness.

A Package of Dynamite

Have you ever heard someone refer to another as a package of dynamite? Normally the reference is made towards a person with an explosive, overwhelming personality; obviously, when viewed in such a fashion as this, not everyone can be qualified as such.

Everyone is a package of dynamite, a different package that is. God has implanted within each one of us the tools that will help us succeed in life.

Specified dynamite is used for certain purposes. Ethylene glycol dinitrate added to nitroglycerin, the main ingredient in dynamite, has a different effect than the use of another antacid. Each dynamite is produced for the specific job that it is needed to accomplish.

God gave us the dynamite that would enable us to effectively impact the diverse group that we were called to embrace and fingerprint. Some people you will naturally befriend--"two peas in a pod." Others will find their way to the deepest rooted nerves, making your skin crawl. Can we still penetrate these type of people? Of course! Will we be as successful as someone whose dynamite was meant for the job? Of course not!

God will place certain people in your life that you will have the opportunity to impact. Will you take the time to make the difference?

Realize how important your presence is in their life. You are the only person that has the right dynamite for that moment. Seize the moment, the day, the month, the year after year. You will be blessed for all of the sacrifices that you have made. Most importantly, you will see the fingerprint of God mold her, but remember the mold takes time to set, so rely on God's perfect timing to guide the way.

Love the dynamite God has made you to be. Desire to be called a package of dynamite, but for a different reason.

TODAY is the Day

Time is limited. Tomorrow is not a guarantee. All that we hold in our power is today--the moment at hand, and the past--the lessons learned and knowledge gained.

For every passing person, there is a reason--a smile, an encouraging word, or a kind gesture. Grasp each moment as an opportunity to make a difference, to touch a heart, to change a life. Seize this instant as if it were your first, your last, your only--because it very well may be. When the beaming moon rises and sends all to a slumber, will you have blessed all those who have crossed your path?

Friends are even more the blessing. A blessing that we expect just the same in the next twenty-four. It may never be foretold when the ticking clock will summon you, and have you bid your adieu. Share your experiences; pass on your wisdom. That is the reason we have one another--to help each other grow.

TODAY is the day; don't wait until tomorrow because it is always another day away.

Life's Feign

I would rather sink to the bottom with honesty, than rise to the top with high acclaims that assert a position which I do not hold.

Beware of the masks that you covet so dearly while the sun's eye is upon you. Those masks which make their way to the secrecy of a prized shelf in the solitude of the moon's howl.

Feigning one who you are not, will only leave you drained and searching--searching for the you you were destined by God to be. No earthly award can surpass the inevitable fulfillment of being exactly who you are--24/7/365.

Pain is the Door to Happiness

I love this 'old-school' poem by Keats. Pain is why we feel happiness. Check it out.

John Keats' "Ode on Melancholy"

"No, no, go not to Lethe, neither twist
Wolf's-bane, tight-rooted, for its poisonous wine;
Nor suffer thy pale forehead to be kiss'd
By nightshade, ruby grape of Proserpine;
Make not your rosary of yew-berries,
Nor let the beetle, nor the death-moth be
Your mournful Psyche, nor the downy owl
A partner in your sorrow's mysteries;
For shade to shade will come too drowsily,
And drown the wakeful anguish of the soul.

But when the melancholy fit shall fall
Sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud,
That fosters the droop-headed flowers all,
And hides the green hill in an April shroud;
Then glut thy sorrow on a morning rose,
Or on the rainbow of teh salt sand-wave,
Or on the wealth of globed peonies;
Or if thy mistress some rich anger shows,
Emprison her soft hand, and let her rave,
And feed deep, deep upon her peerless eyes.

She dwells with Beauty--Beauty that must die;
And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips
Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh,
Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips:
Ay, in the very temple of Delight
Veil'd Melancholy has her sovran shring,
Though seen of none save him whose strenuous tongue
Can burst Joy's grape against his palate fine;
His soul shalt taste the sadness of her might,
And be among her cloudy trophies hung."

Pain and Happiness

A thought to ponder.

Do we not enjoy one's pity more than we do our own happiness?

How many times we sacrifice our own sincere happiness in order to be miserable, all in order to be pitied. What is pity? How can it have such a strong hold on our lives? It's attention. Attention that would not be merited if we were happy.

Is attention really worth it? Is it worth it to "pretend" that I am unhealthy (ultimately convincing my body and mind that I am unhealthy) to receive the pity, often the insincere pity, of someone else? There are so many different scenarios in which we literally forgo our own joy for miserable pity.

Pity will pass, and you will stay miserable. Happiness; now happiness lingers. It is an emotion, a feeling, a response to life's dealings that you will remember and enjoy.

Pity, sorrow, and pain. . .or happiness, joy, and healing? Ask yourself if it's really worth it.

Determined

I love this poem by Arnold Palmer.

"If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think that you dare not, you don't,
If you'd like to win, but you think you can't,
It's almost certain you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world you'll find,
Success begins with a fellow's will,
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can."

Determination takes you a long way. Apply yourself. Don't be afraid to get down and dirty. If you give 100%, God will fill in the rest. Get DETERMINED.

A True and Courageous Hero

I am a civilian.
I enroll myself in a monotonous life full of school, family, and late night basketball practices.
I live oblivious of the blood and tears shed, the lives lost and forever changed, all as a result of the desired pleasure of the seven letters of freedom.
I, along with many, know not what it takes to be that one, the one I’ll forevermore know as my true hero.

Despite his lack of "super-hero" status, Superman, nor Spiderman, not even Cat Woman has ever accomplished what my hero has.
My hero was not born with special powers. He cannot become invisible, or fly over the world unassisted.
However, what he does for you and me is better than anything a make-believe character could ever fathom.

His uniform may be camouflage, navy, or brown, but he serves the red white and blue.
He daily makes a choice to leave behind his spouse, children, family, and loved ones, telling them goodbye, not knowing if he’ll ever return.
He picks up his weapons and holds his head high as he prays a silent prayer and courageously goes off to battle.

I may never comprehend what goes through his mind as he spends his last moments on earth. I may never comprehend the joy of coming home to family and loved ones when the hope of such joy had long ago been relinquished. I may never comprehend the pain and sorrow associated with him leaving and, furthermore, his no return.

However, that which I can comprehend is sheer gratitude.
Men and women, families and friends: I thank you for your willing sacrifice to serve this country. I thank you for all that you have done and will do. May honor and respect follow your every footstep of every pathway that you take.
Fear not to take God with you. He desires to be your Friend, Companion, Healer, and Comforter. If you let Him, He will save you from the nightmares that bring about sleepless nights for you and your family.
May God bless you and your efforts.

Be Him

The love of God is there for you.
He loves you beyond all imagination,
And wants you to prosper.

‘Till the end, He will be there
Smiling, encouraging, and loving.
Be strong and courageous, He’ll fill in the rest.

You’re the Daughter of the Most High God,
What more could one ask for?
A car, a knight in shining armor, and an endless money supply?
These things will not last, no matter how great,
They’ll be gone when you die.

Keep your eyes on Him,
On His glory and majesty.
Give Him your heart, your soul, and mind.
With this He will make you great,
You’re like putty in the Master’s hand.

For you...much He has in store.
Not all will you know now,
But soon will He reveal.
Once you know, go at it with 100%,
For that’s how God can bless you.

Obey Him, Follow Him.
Know Him, Love Him.
BE HIM!

At the End of the Day

At the end of the day...

My "friends" take off their masks to reveal upon me a monstrous vengeance.
My "true" friends take a knife to my heart, showing a complete disregard of my friendship as they tell me how much they don't respect me.

I lay down my head and cry out to God that He will forgive me of the mistakes that I had made, mistakes that I can't bear to reminisce over, mistakes that my "friends" feel are unpardonable. I pray that, as the sun rises the next day, I can be a better person, that I can make less mistakes, strive for perfection, love Him a little bit more, trust Him a little bit more. I pray that the words that seem to be an effluent out of my mouth will please Him. I pray that I can be the best person that I can be, that, with God's help, the feeble person that I am without Him, will find unimaginable success in this overwhelming world of knives and blood. I pray that, with His guidance, I can make an impact on those around me, that just by living with God and under His standards, I may be the powerful witness He needs me to be.

As dawn strikes, the sun rises, and I silently send prayers to heaven, that the new day would be exactly that---a new day, full of new hope and vigor, esteem and strength. But, at the end of the day, only God can save me from the pit of fear, shame, hurt, and sorrow that the day's events have brought upon me. Only God can rejoice with me about the favor and blessings, the happiness and joy that His love has sent for me.

I will never live up to the standards that man sets before me. I will never meet the incomprehensible principles that my "friends" and family attempt to force upon me with each new rising and setting of the sun. I will never, and I'm not about to try.

Shadow Dwelling

Stop living in the shadows of those who surround you, and start making your own shadow.
Be who God wants you to be. Desire a life full of His blessings and love that comes with living in-step with His plans for you!