Choose Me

Use me. I want to be the one. Choose me God; choose me!

All throughout by basketball career, if I was not on the court during a game, you knew exactly where to find me—sitting on the bench, right next to the coach. To say that I sat next to the coach is a near understatement—I couldn’t get any closer. No, I did not have some perverted fascination with my coach; I had a deep, passionate desire for basketball. All I wanted was to get in the game. So, I would sit right next to him, trying to ensure that he wouldn’t forget me. Every five seconds, I would blurt out random comments: “Coach, I’m ready.” “Coach, I know we’re winning by fifty, but I just feel the need to get in the game.” “Coach, this bench is giving me splinters.” He would always reply with a chuckle, a witty reply, and an “I didn’t forget about you.” While I’m not sure that my naggings worked, I do know that I spent very little time on that bench.

So here I sit again. On the sidelines of the court of life, pleading with God to put me in the game. Use me, Father. I’m ready to go in. Please, put me in the game.

Have the willingness. Have the desire. But have the patience to know that, in due time, God will put you in the game.

Father, use me. I want to be the one. Choose me God; choose me!

Waiting for the Rain to Stop

copyright (c) 2005

When the day's rain was just too much to bear,
That forever friend will surely be there.

And, when you fall in the mud,
That friend will rush to pick you up, and wipe off any blood.

But, as the rain comes to a slow,
That friend will still be there, to rejoice with you--you made it though yet another blow.

Through sunshine and rain
And happiness and pain;
Through weakness and strength,
That friend will go to every length
To be by your side,
To whom you may, all the more, confide.

Life, it's full of ups and downs,
But they all seem like nothing, compared to the sounds
Of that one true friend, who was always there,
To tell you it'll be okay, and to show you Jesus through much needed prayer.

Doubter, Doubter

At one point or another, we have all doubted ourselves--that is, any avid Christian fervently seeking a growing relationship with God. Fact is, if there wasn't such an insecurity or doubt as to where we should be, then true worry should settle into your heart.

Follow your gut. God will lead you. Be driven by a passionate desire to daily grow in your relationship with your Father. Run toward Peace, and Peace will find you.

listen. heed.
desire. run.

Please allow me to come clean. I doubt myself all the time. Often time, my doubt is transpired by another's doubt in me. My biggest doubt, especially now at this point of approaching change, is that my life has been futile. I constantly wonder if I truly have made a difference. But I know that even if my life seems futile to me, even if it seems as though I have done nothing, that if I have truly sought God and have obeyed what I believed to be His call, then my life has served a purpose, even if it is only to grow and better myself.

There are times when we need to run after God harder. So run! Don't look back! If He is asking you to rid yourself of all baggage then do so! The "pain" of following God will surpass quicker than the pain of disobeying His call.

If you truly feel you are not where you need to be, then congratulations! You are being summoned by God because He wants more of you!

listen. don't hold back.
toss your luggage. and run!
run until you can run no further, and keep running!

GROWTH
It's painful when it happens, yet invaluable when all is said and done.

Don't look back; look ahead. Passionately run after Him.

But a Chair

It was but a chair.
A Lazy Boy, stacked with comfort and pillows,
Stained from years of horseplay, from hide-and-go-seek to midnight sardines,
Dilapidated from forty winks a many.

It was but a chair.
Always filled with its proper owner,
Always surrounded by the boisterous laughter of aunts, the sarcastic wit of uncles, and
Always encompassed by love.

It was but a chair.
But that place of rest is empty.
Still it is surrounded by children and grandchildren, whose eyes swell with pain and tears, yet
Still it is encompassed with love.

It was but a chair.
Now it will forever stand as the chair.
The chair that held him,
Embraced his weak body as he melted into a slumber.

It was but a chair.
But, it isn't.

The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing BUT the Truth

Four inches of snow and six hours later, I found myself the referee of yet another Griffith squabble. Dustin's rosy forearms bore witness to the forceful slaps they had just received, but I knew that Hunter would not have acted unprovoked. I had a decision to make: I could shrug off the through of inconsistency and punish the youngest--after all, I trusted the eldest, he was the one who had come to me with grievance, and there were no evident marks of retaliation on Hunter; or I could find the truth hidden under the embellishments and lies. Believing Dustin's story was the easy choice. The outline handprints on his arms were obvious indicators of the offense.

But deep within me, I knew something more had happened. Steph was sitting at the computer in the adjoining room when the quarrel had erupted; I went to her hoping to receive valuable information. With the little information she was able to provide, I determined that there was, no doubt, more to the story than I was being told.

I sat the boys down and began extracting the truth. I allowed Dustin to fist tell his story. He frantically related al that had happened, pointing at the red prints covering his arms. Upon his completion, Hunter, eyes overwhelmed with tears of pain and fear, recounted his tale between sobs of remorse and hurt. As he neared the end, he rolled up his sleeve to reveal a fresh indentation on his skin.

Yes, something more had happened. The bite marks were clearly evidence that the whole truth had not been told.


I've been on the raw end; in fact, that's where I spend every hour of my life. Being there, I know what it feels like when your side of the story isn't heard. So, dare to be different and ask for the whole truth. Don't settle for anything less than the whole story. Don't settle to be average.